Bussin' It

Normally, Z picks me up after work and we carpool home together. But occasionally something comes up and I have to find my own way home. As I got over my fear of getting lost on public transportation when we lived in NYC, I'm not afraid to take the bus home. However, I have never liked taking routes that require me to get off of one bus and transfer to another. When given the option, I'll almost always choose the route that may take a bit longer but lets me sit my butt in a seat for the entire time. I can read and not have to worry about missing my transfer spot or not being able to find the next bus, etc.

Well I guess I was feeling like I needed to shake stuff up a bit yesterday, and I went way out on the edge and decided to try a new route home. The route that I normally would have taken would've dropped me off about 1/4 of a mile to the west of our condo. But I wanted to take advantage of my husband-free time and stop at the drugstore for a few things first (little-known-fact about Devin: I love drugstores. I love browsing and looking at all the odds-and-ends that I don't need but would probably enjoy, such as new makeup, gadgets, etc. I love taking my time to pick out the perfect birthday card. I love it all. Not surprisingly, Z does not find this same joy in drugstores. But we typically end up stopping there on our way home from work. Together. Thus, when given the opportunity, I will take my time and peruse the goods without an impatient Z chomping at the bit to leave). But the drugstore is about 1/4 mile to the West of our condo. Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm lazy. So I faced a difficult choice: take a bus route that requires the energy necessary to make a transfer and get dropped off right by the drugstore OR take the longer route home with no transfers and walk 1/2 mile to the drugstore, and then back home 1/4 mile afterward. It was a tough call, but I went with the bus transfer. (Brief note: I would just like to point out how much energy I spend figuring out how to best be lazy. It makes no sense, I know).

So I get on the bus at its final stop downtown with no problem. I even scored a seat in the back of the full bus - wedged between 2 large guys, but a seat is a seat. My transfer location is listed as being located on a ramp off I-5. I assume that, since this ramp is located at a pretty busy intersection, it will be a heavily used transfer stop. Wrong. I notice that we get on the ramp and no one has yet pulled the "Stop Requested" rope yet. "Maybe it is just so popular that it stops there automatically" I think to myself. I can tell we're getting close and am noticing no signs of slowing down. I figure I may as well pull the rope, just in case. I do this just in time, as I am apparently the only one on the bus who wants to stop here. So I awkwardly maneuver myself and my backpack and my purse and my ipod through the crowded bus, trying hard not to step on anyone in the process, all the while trying not to feel as self-conscious as I do, being the only person moving on the bus. After fumbling with my bus pass for a second, I make it out the door and the bus continues on.

I notice a stairway that leads up off the freeway and onto the intersection where my next bus stop is to be located. Looking back on this I assume that if I'd glanced around myself for 2 seconds before heading up the stairs, I might have found a pathway that would have taken me under the street overhead and shown me to the stairway that would lead directly to the next bus stop on the opposite side of the street. I assume this, because once I get up to the intersection, the only way to cross is to go in a U-shape - East across 5th, North across 145th, and back West across 5th again. Ugh. Did I mention that I'm lazy? Fortunately I've got about 8 minutes until my next bus is due to pick me up.

I make it over with a few minutes to spare and I decide to have a seat inside the little bench shelter. I am the only person there, but on one of the benches there is an unopened package of vacuum cleaner bags and a nearly-full styrofoam cup of what looks like it might have been an orange milkshake in the not-too-distant past. The abandonment of these items puzzles me. First off, I'm a huge milkshake fan. I can imagine few instances when I would take off and leave a nearly full cup of ice cream goodness to go to waste. Second, I recall only one occasion in my adult life where I had to buy vacuum cleaner bags and I seem to remember it wasn't just something I picked up on a whim at Albertson's - I had to really know what I was looking for. And even then I think I got the wrong thing. I remember accompanying my parents to the vacuum store as a kid to get bags. It was a specific trip. You can't buy those things just anywhere. So I'm thinking whoever left those bags there must have had a pretty compelling reason to leave them behind. Again, it may be my laziness talking, but if you're going to go to the trouble to find vacuum cleaner bags once, you probably aren't going to want to do it again in the immediate future.

So I sit and ponder this some more and look forward to my trip to Walgreen's. I glance down at my watch and it's almost 4:00. The bus is to arrive at 4:03. I look around and notice the bus at the intersection, getting ready to turn toward me. I step out of the shelter and wait, watching the bus drive closer. And closer. And closer. And past me.

I stop and think for a moment - should I run after it? Could I possibly make it in time before the light at the intersection a block away, where it is currently stopped, changes? There's no way, given all the crap I'm carrying. I then think perhaps I've realized the motivation behind the abandonment of the vacuum bags and the milkshake and I briefly laugh to myself as I envision the poor sap, so desperate to get home that he leaves his very specific purchase and his delicious treat, running down the street after the bus. But my mind quickly gets back to my own predicament: What the hell?! I looked right at the bus driver and he didn't even look at the stop. Did I do something wrong? Was I supposed to be jumping around, flagging him down? Is he a jackass or simply an idiot? Or maybe this is his first day on the route and he just made a mistake and I should give him a break. Screw that! And why did no one else on the bus tell him I was there - surely someone had to see me and my bewildered expression, waiting outside that shelter. Son of a! I stopped to breathe for a moment and considered my options. It was, according to my watch, only 4pm. Maybe this was not my bus, as it wasn't due until 4:03. Maybe this was the earlier bus, making up some other missed stops or something, and my expected 4:03 would be here momentarily. I'd give it until 4:10.

Well of course no other bus showed up. The schedule listed at the shelter indicated that the next bus wouldn't be due for 1/2 hour. And of course this was the only bus that travels down this street. So I again had 2 options: I could sit at the stop for 1/2 hour and HOPE that the next time around the bus would stop. Or I could suck it up and start hoofin' it. You may be surprised to learn, given the laziness I have mentioned, that I actually sucked it up and started walkin'.

It's not a huge walk - it's probably about 3/4 of a mile. I imagine I walked more than this regularly when I was in NYC. But most of the streets are flat in NYC. And even though I drive this road all the time, I had never noticed that it is largely a series of inclines. So this is automatically a tougher walk. Also, I had not mentally prepared for it. I need to be psyched up for physical exercise. And yes, the weather was fortunately quite nice and sunny. However, I have been cursed with a sweat response equal only to that of Ruben Studdard and I started dripping about 3 steps into the hike. So it goes without saying that I was irritated with my situation.

I finally arrived at the drugstore about 1/2 hour later, totally sweaty. Suddenly my list of reasons for wanting to hang out at Walgreen's increased as I couldn't wait to lounge in the air conditioning for a while before heading back out for the last 1/2 mile walk home. So I took full advantage, found just the right cards, enjoyed not being rushed, and finally headed home.

To recap, I would've been further ahead to take the bus route that would have dropped me off 1/4 of a mile away from the condo. Walking from there to the drugstore and back home would've been about 3/4 of a mile total, if that. Instead, I took the bus with the transfer and ended up walking just over a mile. So much for being lazy.

But at least I could more easily justify eating the candy I bought at Walgreen's.

As I stopped at the mailbox to pick up our mail, I was greeted by my very favorite, happiest sign of the late summer - the new Ikea catalog. As though recognizing that it owed me something, the universe got back on my good side.

Hope for the Future...of Reality TV

2008 is proving to be something of a defining moment for me and my reality competition TV shows. First, my preference to be Bret Michaels' Rock of Love, Ambre (the one who seemed destined for runner-up as she was so much less nasty - and thus, seemingly less appealing to Bret - than Daisy) actually won his heart, if only for long enough to get him some "hot monkey sex" (his words, not mine). Then, in the pinnacle of reality competitions, my choice (okay, full disclosure: my obsession) to win American Idol ACTUALLY won the show. And as if I could realistically ask for more, my favorite Top Chef contestant won not only the competition, but went on to win Fan Favorite, too! The tides have turned, the mood has changed and I'm starting to get excited about the possibilities for greatness. Perhaps it's the political atmosphere in this country, but I can't help feeling that there really is hope for a better crop of Reality Show winners. And isn't that what "a better tomorrow" is really all about, after all?

It's not just the winners that are improving. It's the runners-up, too. It's like judges (and producers, because let's be honest – they have a lot to do with the results no matter how much they may deny it) and the voting public has finally caught on to my long-held beliefs on judging standards:
1. If the show is trashy (such as "Rock of Love"), the final two should be comprised of the one winner we all know the host should choose and the one runner-up that is the most entertaining, controversial, trashy and hilarious, that you actually start to think might win it all. The longer he/she is in the competition, the longer we'll watch. Just don't let him/her win. We may love the theatrics, but ultimately, we trashy-show viewers are romantics at heart and want a fairy tale ending – hot monkey sex not withstanding.
2. If the show is a singing competition, get rid of the guy(s) and/or girl(s) I dislike the most right away. If you're not sure who that is, give me a call. I'm tired of enduring weeks and weeks of uninteresting performances by people I find boring/annoying/free of personality/egotistical. And while I could stop watching the show until they have been kicked off, it seems unfair to ask me to miss out on all of the performers who don't bother me. It would just be better to ask me who should get the boot. No one else need be consulted. If only I could get back those minutes of my life back where I had to sit through Syesha Mercado and Scott Savol performances. I could've had a V-8. But if there is one contestant that is clearly far-and-away better (and hotter) than the competition, and another that is a big draw for the tween vote AND can sing AND doesn't drive me nuts, I can appreciate the need for this demographic and I won't begrudge the advertisers, so the youth-vote can be allowed to keep their heartthrob in the competition until the finale. As long as the hot rocker wins it all.
3. Similar to the singing competition rules above, if there is a cooking show that has multiple unlikable contestants and a few obviously superior contestants, go ahead and let the judges keep ONE of the annoying contestants around for the finale, as the drama he or she will create will keep fair-weather watchers coming back. Even lead him or her to believe he or she will win it all. Just make sure one of the obviously deserving, non-irritating contestants wins. If unsure who falls into which category, again, I am happy to provide this information. Just give me a call. If these standards are followed, at the very minimum as loose guidelines, we can be assured of not only the best winners, but the best runners-up. And we all know what that could potentially mean: A better crop of people to star in upcoming "CelebReality" competitions on VH1! Who wouldn't watch "The Surreal Life: Season 14" starring Daisy, David Archuleta and Lisa?!

Thank you, Reality TV. It's been a long time coming. I am hopeful for the future as I have now seen that it really is possible for the best choice to win and that I don't always have to be disappointed in a reality competition's outcome. It seems that, finally, voters and judges have seen the light and, maybe psychically, have realized whose opinions should've been considered more carefully all along: Mine.