Aimless in Seattle

Happy Birthday to Me!

2010-09-21T16:00:00.000-07:00

Last week I celebrated my birthday. Hooray. Meh. When I was younger, this was my favorite day of the year - a day where it could OFFICIALLY be all about me, which was perfect in my quest to be the center of attention. Now that I'm...not as young...I'm not always as keen on the day. I think it would be different if I were happier with where I'm at in my life. But there are currently a lot of things that I'm pretty frustrated with. That's not to say that I'm not insanely grateful for the amazing parts of my life - like my husband, my family, my friends, my cat. But otherwise, I'm not where I'd hoped to be by this age. And that makes me less than thrilled to commemorate a day that really hammers home that I'm yet another year older. Blah blah blah.

I wanted to do something fun for my birthday to just take my mind off of things and get back into the "it's all about me and my birthday" spirit that I used to have. So I took the day off, as did my husband, and we ended up going bowling. I can't recommend going bowling on a Wednesday afternoon highly enough. Particularly if you suck at the sport as much as I do (I do believe my high score for the afternoon was a 92 on one game. Awesome! :)). There were only 3 or 4 other lanes in use, which was great. And at this alley, they served us food and drinks right at our lane, which was even cooler. And since it was my birthday and why-the-hell-not, we had pizza (what wheat and dairy sensitivity?). It was a really good time. Here are some photos to prove it:

Of course he had to take the obligatory "Uninterested Tourist" photo

But here's how good of a time he was actually having.

And even though I'm really not a fan of having my picture taken until my stupid hair grows out long enough so I can donate it and cut it off, I obliged for a birthday bowling shot:

Later that evening we went to one of my favorite restaurants, which just so happens to be a Vegetarian restaurant (Carmelita, for any of you Seattle folk out there), for an outstanding meal and stopped by Cupcake Royale on the way home for cupcakes. By the end of the day, aside from being blissfully bloated, I was wishing it didn't have to end (and not just cuz I had to go back to work the next day).

HOWEVER, it should be noted that the celebration really started for me the night before my actual birthday. Our awesome friends Michelle and Andrew hooked us up with tickets to see "Burn The Floor." If you don't know what this is, check out the website here. As a huge fan of the show "So You Think You Can Dance," I couldn't wait to see this, particularly since a few of my fave contestants from past seasons of the show are in the current cast.

On our way into the theater, Z says to me "Isn't that the judge from the show? What's her name?" Once I see who he's pointing at, I notice that it is no other than Ms. Hot Tamale Train herself, Mary Murphy! Disregarding the strange-to-me fact that he's forgotten her name, I freak out a little at the exciting star sighting! Turns out she's there because she's joining the cast. I love her dearly, but can't quite imagine her in this show - I would really love to see it, though. Oh well. I'll take seeing her in the audience.

The show is absolutely wonderful and with the exception of the guy sitting in front of me shifting back and forth in his seat every 10 seconds (no exaggeration), it is all amazing. Then, on the way out I notice that, for some reason, Vonzell Solomon is there. For those less versed in the Reality Singing Competition Trivia than I, she was the 3rd place finisher in Season 4 of American Idol (the Carrie Underwood season). So again, exciting stuff for starstruck Devin.

At this point I'm pretty amped about the evening and excited that I don't have to wake up and go to work the next day. Michelle and Andrew have graciously invited us to the Opening Night After Party for the show, and given my excitement about all the circumstances thus far, I can't pass up the opportunity. Particularly when we learn that the cast will be there. :)

Without making this long story much longer, I can tell you that not only did I shake hands with Ashleigh, Ryan AND Pasha, but I CHATTED with each of them! For as much as my husband's schmoozing ability can be exhausting for me at times, man did it come in handy that night! I was so freakin' starstruck that I knew I couldn't possibly approach any of these people. But of course Z could. And that allowed me to then be introduced as his wife. Works for me! And holy crap were they nice! We chatted with the DiLellos about the places they've lived and where we've lived, and we gave Pasha some restaurant recommendations for his time in Seattle. So. Stinkin'. Cool! We didn't get the opportunity to chat with the other "SYTYCD" folks (not even Mary Murphy :( ) or with Vonzell, but still, being at the same party with them was pretty sweet.

I really, REALLY wanted to be "that guy" who asks everyone for a picture with them. But I also wanted to play it cool. So I did not get photos with anyone. However, I played amateur paparazzo and grabbed a zoomed-in (thus the fuzzy quality) shot that includes a bunch of the folks that I (admittedly a total dork) love:

You can see Mary Murphy there on the right (not sure who the blonde is across from her). Next to Mary, though incredibly tough to see, is Vonzell. Behind her, standing up, are Ryan and Ashleigh. And that's Pasha sitting there across from Vonzell with his face in his hand. Squee!

So that was the beginning to my birthday. It could've either been the event that made the rest of my birthday pale in comparison, or simply the start to a great following day. Thanks largely to my husband, it was the latter. It also reminded me in a big, giant, unavoidable way that I am INCREDIBLY lucky to live the life that I live. And even if it's not where I'd hoped to be or want to be sometimes, it's still a life that's got some really great aspects to it. :)

DOWNSTAIRS CRAP UPDATE:

A few weeks ago, my trusty friends and neighbors, Eric and Lacey, let me know that there was another treasure downstairs. They both discovered it at separate times and both let me know right away. I can't tell you how much I love that I'm known as the one who documents this stuff. :) So of course I rushed downstairs right away to find what may be my new favorite item:

If you can't tell what you're looking at, that would be an opened bag of Fred Meyer generic marshmallows. Clipped to what I can only assume were the marshmallows taken either from said open bag or perhaps another bag of the same that would not fit back into the open bag. Now I love me some marshmallow goodness. But the idea of eating these just grosses me out - who knows how many people have had their hands on them and/or breathed all over them already? Ewww. But it makes for a perfect latest addition to my photo collection, you have to admit.

A Cornucopia of Condominium Crap

2010-08-20T14:59:00.000-07:00

Earlier this year, stuff started showing up in the lobby of our condo building. Random stuff. Sometimes hilarious, random stuff. There's a fake fireplace in the entryway and the top of it is the perfect location for folks to leave their crap that they no longer want, but feel that someone else may still want. It's not an original idea and I can appreciate the "waste not, want not" attitude, but our building's management apparently feels it's not acceptable. Probably since they're still trying to sell some units in the building and walking in to see some one's garbage may not make the best first impression. It was brought up at the last Owner's meeting of the Homeowners Association and residents were told not to participate in this practice anymore. Well, either the person/people responsible for the goody-leaving missed that meeting or they've just prioritized the sharing of their stuff over following the rules, because every few weeks it seems something else shows up.

The first 3 occurrences were the most hilarious. Sadly, I didn't think to start taking pics until the 3rd time, so I missed out on photo documentation of the first two. But here are reasonable likenesses of them:

First:

An industrial-sized can of Pickled White Asparagus Spears. Like something you'd find at Costco or, perhaps more likely, a restaurant supply store. This was easily a lifetime supply of Pickled White Asparagus Spears for about 12 people. Can't imagine why it wasn't wanted.

2nd:

That's right, kids. Your very own 2010 Il Divo calendar. For those unfamiliar with the vocal stylings of Il Divo, they are the Operatic Super Group manufactured by Simon Cowell. To my limited knowledge of them, they sing mostly adult contemporary songs that have already become popular by other singers, but they sing them in Italian. And Opera. It's bizarre. Check out a sample with this take on a Mariah Carey song here. But they're very handsome and do have a following - just not in the condo of one of our neighbors, apparently, who I'm guessing got it as a White Elephant Christmas gift or from someone with either awful or hysterical taste in gifts. We discovered this one evening on our way out with some friends. They claimed to know someone who would, for some reason, enjoy a different pic of these guys for every month of 2010, so they took it. But last I heard, they never gave it away. So either they've kept it for themselves and have a secret love of these Italian stallions, or it is sitting in a box somewhere, depriving a true fan of real happiness. Kinda sad, either way.

3rd:

By this time, I realized I'd been missing out on some golden opportunities, and finally thought to take a pic. I think it's nice that they offer a pair for both before and after Labor Day.

I lost track of the order I've taken the rest of the pics, but here they are:

Hopefully someone was able to get some help from this. Made me wonder if the person giving it up had successfully faced codependency and was moving forward, or if they gave up trying. Is their offering of this book a way to be anonymously needed by someone else? I'm sure I'm thinking too much about it...

If Z hadn't scored a free, big calculator when the mover left it as we moved out of our place in NYC, I think he would've been all over this one. He likes big calculators. That may somehow be Freudian, come to think of it.

Day planner, anyone?

Pretty self-explanatory.

At least the previous magazines could provide some useful info. These are just garbage. I'm not saying I didn't look at the headlines and think about grabbing one to read, I'm just saying...

These are cat toys. And a mat to go beneath a cat food bowl. This one makes me kind of sad after I laugh, because apparently something happened where a cat no longer needed these things. I prefer to think that the cat just had a different taste in toys and decor, not that they got rid of the cat or that he/she went to live on a farm...

(Special shout-out to our neighbor and friend, Eric, who spied this one day and, knowing of my photo collection and fearing that I'd miss this, sent me the pic. I do believe he and his lovely wife, Lacey, also sent me another pic of something they found in the lobby once before, but for the life of me I can't remember what it was or where that pic is...)

This is a bag of cat food cans, which initially worried me, given the above pic of the toys. But the note says "Please help yourself. My cat won't eat." So if we're to assume this is from the same person, hopefully the cat who didn't like the above toys is still alive and well, just a finicky eater.

It'd been a while since anything had shown up. I often find myself feeling a bit of nervous excitement as I enter the lobby, hoping that I'm going to find some new bit of comedy gold. But I don't usually find myself hoping that there's going to be something I might actually want. That all changed yesterday.

Z had the day off and texted me a picture of the latest drop-off he discovered. At first glance, it was mildly funny but mostly just exciting because something new had been added:

But then I looked more closely and realized that one of these books was actually one that I've been wanting to read! I had a brief flash of hesitation before quickly texting my husband back to ask him to pick up "the one with the dog on it" ("The Art of Racing in the Rain").

I'm not sure where that leaves me in all this. Can I still make fun of the situation if I'm now actively taking part in it? I mean, I'm not leaving stuff there. And I don't know what happens to the stuff when it's not taken by someone who actually wants it, anyway. Things are never there for long and I have a hard time believing that some of these things are so desirable that they are snatched up immediately, so I imagine building management gathers and discards anything they find. If I didn't take that book, wouldn't it likely have ended up in the garbage? And it's a hardcover book with a solid reputation that's in like-new condition - not a pair of used, white high heels or a bag of cat food. So it's not weird that I took it, right? I can still make fun of the other stuff, right?

Well I plan to, regardless.

And if I get any more pics, I'll be sure to share them here.

What's Been Shakin', Bacon?

2010-06-18T17:08:00.000-07:00

I know it's been months and months since I've updated this blog. I'm occasionally reminded of that fact by someone who actually thinks to check it every so often, only to find the same old post. But usually I'm just reminded by myself whenever I read the blogs of others, who seem to have the time and motivation to update regularly. I suck at updating this, I know. I've just lacked the motivation. And I figure since the only people who read this anyway already know what's going on in my life, what else can I possibly provide of interest? However, for the sake of those spammers who love to leave comments on my blog in Japanese, I shall update you on some stuff that's been goin' down around Sea Town.

Last weekend we closed the production of the first play Zaki and I have produced as our own theatre company. Crazy. It's something we'd thought about doing for years and we even applied for a grant so we could have some money to do it. Imagine our surprise when we actually got the grant and then had no excuse but to follow through with it! The play was "Sixteen Wounded" by Eliam Kraiem (who is, incidentally, super cool, as he sent us an email, wishing us a successful run and when we sent him the positive review we got from the Seattle Times, he responded again with more well-wishes. Kick ass!). The show deals with what we referred to as the "human side" of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict - not the politics of it. We wanted to do the play and then host talk-backs afterward where people could discuss any issues/ideas/concerns/questions/thoughts that came up for them. Keep in mind we'd picked out this play a few years ago. We had no way of knowing that the Gaza floatilla raid would end up going down less than a week before we opened. And while I most definitely am not happy about the floatilla raid and don't feel right using the word "lucky" as it relates to us, if it had to happen, it was pretty convenient for our purposes that it happened when it did. Because suddenly more people were paying attention. And it turns out we really wanted people to pay attention! There was a time during the process when, I'll be honest, I was not sure I wanted to promote the piece. It was rough. And we didn't know how it would turn out. Also, long story short, we had to replace one of our lead actors 1 WEEK before our first performance. Insanity. Yet somehow the universe said "Don't worry, lil punkins, I got this" and not only did we pull it off, we pulled it off in a crazy-successful way. The response was amazing from the get-go, word of mouth spread, we got a great write-up in the paper, we had full houses the 2nd weekend and on the final night, after adding folding chairs and packing in an extra 10 people, we still had to (sadly) turn away 30+ people who wanted to see the show but had nowhere to sit.

Here's a pic of a scene with me and Z (Photo courtesy of Mike Hipple) (and this was taken during a rehearsal - the fake prego belly looked more real before the show opened, just so ya know):

It was an incredible experience on all counts and we learned so much from every aspect of it. And now the bar has been set very high for us for any future shows we will produce. But for the time being we're enjoying having a bit of a respite.

And it comes just in time for the World Cup. Ah yes. That little thing. That soccer tournament that the rest of the world basically shuts down for over the course of a month that I'd never known anything about until 5 years ago because I live in the US where we are too good for silly sports that the rest of the world obsesses over. I learned about its importance (hell, its existence) 5 years ago when Z and I started planning our wedding. I learned that if it was to be held around the summer of 2006 it was going to need to be early or late enough in the summer so as not to interfere with the World Cup. "You're not serious?" I said to my foreign-born-and-raised-so-he-has-worshipped-every-second-of-every-World-Cup-since-he-was-born husband-to-be. Oh boy was he serious. Thus, the reason we got married on Memorial Day weekend - the festivities and any potential honeymoon would be completed by the time the first kick-off took place. And if it hadn't been, I might not have had a groom standing in front of me to say my vows to. So here we are again, 4 years later. I am now a season ticket holder for our MLS team (Go Sounders!), so it's fair to say my appreciation for soccer has probably multiplied by 100 since 2006, and I'm more interested in the Cup this time around. And I'm cheering and booing just as loud as the next (foreign) guy during the games the US is playing. And I'm following the scores. But I'm not getting up at the butt-crack of dawn to watch 2 countries that I have no connection to compete. Just show me the highlights and tell me the score once I'm up, thanks. But anyway, if you want to discuss So You Think You Can Dance with me (which normally I'd be ALL OVER right now), you're probably gonna have to wait because currently, our evening TV time is being consumed by DVRd soccer matches. Oh - and if you know the score of those matches that took place after we left for work - don't ruin the score for my husband, he wants to be surprised. :) As frustrating as it can be at times, it's actually pretty cool the passion that he feels for it - and that the rest of the world apparently feels for it. I feel rather connected with the rest of the planet's inhabitants, knowing that those of us paying attention to the tourney are, in fact, the majority, in spite of what some US haters might have you believe. And, as a good, "America-hating" liberal, if there's one thing I like more than anything, it's feeling "above" my fellow countrymen.

Here's a pic I found online (I like to add pics to keep you awake. You're welcome) of some kid blowing the much-maligned vuvuzela and rooting for the wrong team:

What else...

Oh, so our piece of crap car finally got paid off a few months ago. Hooray! Oh, the plans I had for that money that had been going to a car payment. But the car gods had different plans. They apparently are rooting for the repair shop owners and their extended families to go on an all-expense paid vacation sometime very soon, so we've been cursed with our car continually breaking down. Cooling system issues, mostly. Such a monumental pain in my derriere. So it looks as though, rather than continually shelling out 100s of dollars for repairs of the same stupid thing, on top of car rental bills, we may be getting a new car. We're also thinking of leasing instead of buying. Since our current piece of garbage is a 2004 and ran great for about 3 years (right around the time the warranty ran out, of course), we're thinking maybe it's not such a bad thing to get a new vehicle every 3 years. So we've been test driving some cars lately. We'd originally thought we'd go with the can't-go-wrong Civic, or maybe even the Corolla (cuz all that recall stuff is done now, right?), but we've since narrowed it down to the Hyundai Elantra or the Mazda3. I think we're leaning toward one over the other, but on the off chance that anyone reading this blog has any opinions on the subject, please do share. Oh - and to the Japanese spammers: if you could type your opinions in English, that'd be easier for me to use. Smooches!

Speaking of the car, we were also inducted into what is apparently the brotherhood of true Seattleites recently when we had our car broken into. After attending a play at the theater where we would soon be putting on our own play (a troubling omen that fortunately did not prove to be foreshadowing), we returned to find the passenger window shattered and the contents of our glove box and arm rest storage strewn about the seat. They found Z's ipod touch and that's all they took. They ignored our satellite radio receiver (although it looked like they may have tried to take it but couldn't figure out how to disconnect it) and they ignored our GPS. What, our GPS isn't good enough for you? Thieving snobs. Anyway, we really were very lucky, all in all, only being out the ipod and the cost of the deductible on the window repair . Still, it sucked. I guess maybe I should feel fortunate it hasn't happened to me before, as I know a lot of people my age who have had to deal with it multiple times in their lives. It's all relative, I suppose.

Ummmm...

I went to Boise for the weekend before we started rehearsals for the play. That was nice, in spite of the fact that I somehow managed to throw my back out in the middle of the weekend. Regardless, I got in some good "mom time" and some good "grandma time" and also some good "Eli time." I'd love to post some pics for you to see that he continues to be the cutest boy that ever there was, but since I can't, you're going to have to continue to take my word for it.

Oh! Speaking of cuteness - we went to NY a few months ago to meet our first niece, Lilly Zelda Greif! Z's sister, Nina, spawned this little doll and while we didn't get as much time to spend with her as we'd hoped, we look forward to dousing her with more love at the next possible opportunity. We got a video of her laughing the other day and if that's not the best sound in the world, I don't know what is.

Here's a pic of her wearing the onesie that her Uncle Zaki and Aunt Devin got for her a few months ago. Cuz we plan ahead.

And see how I've tied multiple topics of this blog together in just one adorable picture. I'm awesome like that.

Ok, I feel like that's ample. I tried to make it long (for a change, when it usually happens by accident) to make up for all the months you, my faithful following of 3 readers, have had to endure without a blog update. I'd like to tell you that it won't be so long between this and the next one, but let's all try to be honest with ourselves about that, shall we? You'd be wise not to get your hopes up too high.

Seattle Rock City

2009-11-16T23:03:00.000-08:00

Friday afternoon I got a phone call from a very excited husband. He had just been offered 2 free tickets to see KISS in concert on Sunday night. The way he was talking I thought he was going to tell me he'd won the lottery - he was THAT excited. He was a HUGE fan of the band when he was growing up in Jordan and he'd always wanted to see them live. As we'd made a pact at the beginning of the year not to go to any concerts this year with only a few specific exceptions, he hadn't even looked into getting tickets. So when 2 came his way, he was over the moon. I was more excited for the idea of having a quiet Sunday night, but he wanted me to experience it with him. That and he couldn't think of anyone else who would want to join him. I resisted. But he pointed out the fact that it would surely be good blog fodder, and I relented a bit. Ultimately I gave up my quiet and joined the KISS Army for an evening.

The opening act was a band called Buckcherry. They've had a few moderately successful hits, but nothing we were in any way interested in catching. So we showed up about a half hour after they started and just ended up standing around the hallways, waiting for the intermission and getting in some good people watching. When the lights went up and the switchover started, we headed for our seats. Let me tell ya, I don't think I've had seats that good for any concert in my life. If only I could get that close for next year's Bon Jovi or U2 concerts (they were on the excepted list, by the way :)). Anyway, we were in the section closest to Stage Left, about 4 rows up. Ever been to a concert and had to sit far away and felt jealous of the jerks who scored tickets right up against the stage and hogged the entire band's attention? Yeah, that was our section last night. Crazy good seats. Whenever the flames would shoot up, it was so hot I worried my eyebrows were going to singe.

I really only recognize about 3, maybe 4 KISS songs. But that just allowed me to share my attention with the crazy show going on in the audience. Yes, plenty of face painters. Many of them children. Lots of children there with their parents. A cross-generational love of rock - a beautiful thing, I'm sure. There were a few in full KISS costume and they were swarmed with people who wanted their pics taken with them. There was one guy I so desperately wanted a picture of - wearing his KISS t-shirt, face painted, but his arm in a sling. Clearly injured in the line of duty.

One guy sitting a few rows in front of us was cracking me up. He was wearing a bowling-style shirt with KISS on it and he kept pulling at it whenever Paul Stanley walked over and looked in his direction, as if to say, "Look how big a fan I am? I have a shirt with your picture on it! Pick me out of the crowd to stand (literally about 3 feet away) in the "special fans" section (more about that in a moment)!" At one point, Paul sort of mocked him pulling at his spandexy strap (can't call it a shirt) , as if to say, "So what?" Or, perhaps more appropriately, "Perhaps if you were about 30 years younger, female and had bigger boobs." But this guy's love was true. And his exuberance was real. Do you know that old SNL skit where Molly Shannon plays the woman who jumps around yelling "I'm 50! 50 years old! And I can jump, and I can stretch and I can KICK!"? That was this guy. He kept attempting to replicate the band members' jumps with their guitars (which, I must admit, they still carry off successfully, in spite of their advanced rocker age). It was really funny, take my word for it. Though I give him props for devotion.

But perhaps the most interesting phenomenon is one that surely has occurred at every rock concert since the beginning of time, I've just never sat close enough to witness it. I am referring to that of the hoochie. The female who has dressed and/or acted SO SLUTTY that she has gotten the band's attention and has been singled out. One girl sitting a few rows in front of us walks in wearing a pink mesh shirt and a black sort of bustier/vest/corset thing. But the true advantage she gains in this contraption is that it buttons just under her boobs. So her ta-tas are totally out there for the world to see, covered only by completely see-through pink mesh. She has cleverly covered her nipples with star-shaped pasties. So, so classy. But totally successful, as about 2 songs into the set, Paul sees her and stares and nods. About 2 minutes later, a staff member walks down the aisle to pull her and her friend out of the crowd. About 2 minutes after that they show up below us in what is apparently the area for the "chosen." They joined other classy gals and got to watch the rest of the concert right in front of the stage. The seat she started out in was probably better viewing of the whole show, actually, but it's about the prestige, isn't it? There was also another upstanding gal in front of us who, I believe, flashed her boobs right to Paul (he hung out on our side of the stage for most of the show) and he was totally into it. He motioned to her to rub up on her hot female friend and they grinded and spanked each other, and all the while her male friend (I assume it was her boyfriend) was egging it on. The funny thing is - I don't think the boyfriend thought it was hot as much as he hoped they'd get pulled into the "chosen" area and maybe he could go with them. So very entertaining.

What else? Oh, there were a few points when the entire band would leave the stage except for one of them and this person would give us a solo performance while the others got a break. One of the guys (not an original member of the band) did a guitar solo with a guitar that shot exploding flames out of it. Pretty impressive. But the last time he did it he aimed it up toward the ceiling of the stage on the side where we were sitting and hit a light fixture above the corner of the stage. It hung by a cord for a moment before crashing to the stage. It very nearly took out a security guard. Though he didn't seem phased. My heart was racing so hard as I thought for sure I was about to witness the top story on the night's news. But now I'm wondering if it was somehow all part of the show. Perhaps I'll never know. If anyone reading this happens to know if this is a regular occurrence at a KISS concert, please fill me in. :)

Paul Stanley showing off his sextagenarian goods

Gene Simmons sticking out his tongue at us

After the pyrotechnics, the fake blood and the flights over the stage and the audience, Z had gotten his fill. And in a fashion more in keeping with the age of most of the crowd (who were apparently opting to ignore the fact that they had to wake up and go to work the next morning), he opted to leave before the encore had ended so we could beat the traffic. He had realized his dream. And we were home by 11:15. Rock. On.

A Brush With Greatness. And Hotness.

2009-10-23T09:19:00.000-07:00

Z informs me last week that he heard where 2 of our favorite Sounders players, Kasey Keller and Freddie Ljunberg, were going to be signing autographs at the Home Depot by our house at 5:30 on October 22nd. We make plans then and there to leave work early so we can attend. Z buys a mini Sounders soccer ball for them to sign. We don (is that the right spelling?) our Sounders attire in the AM and head over yesterday at 4:30pm.

The line was really long – looped around most of the inner perimeter of the store – by the time we got there a little before 5. But we finally got up to the front and got signatures about 6:30 I think. Let me just say this – Ljunberg is hot and I’ve always known that. But there is something about him in person that makes him HOTTTTTTT! Seriously. First off, he was wearing this nice white shirt and vest – so hot. And then we get up to the table and he looks up at me with a big ol' smile and says in his great little Swedish accent “Hello! How are you doing?” Like he genuinely cares and hasn’t just said the same thing to 300 people already (which I’m sure he has). I say “I’m good! How are you?” But before he could really answer the stupid woman in charge of keeping things moving snaps at me “what are you having signed?!” to which I point at the scarf (that I’m having signed for Z since he’s getting the soccer ball signed) that Kasey was already signing at that very moment. She then realizes that she probably sounded pretty bitchy and says “Oh, ok. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t miss out” or something like that. Yeah, well guess what Lady. Now I have missed out. Missed out on a brief conversation and possibly deep, spiritual connection with an underwear model. Not cool.

And then I really didn’t get a chance to say anything to Kasey. Although I feel we must’ve had a subconscious connection, as we both wore our Seahawks hats yesterday. Kasey looked pretty hot, too, I must say. He was kinda scruffy and was wearing glasses – a feature that I have liked about guys since I was in highschool. Glasses get me. Anyway, we did smile at each other at least and Z and I thanked him as we took our stuff. The girl in front of Z was hogging Kasey and after he signed our ball the chick makes like she’s going to pick it up. Z grabs it and says “Um, that’s mine.” To which Kasey says “Sorry. Man, I don’t know” with a sort of shrug as if to say “it’s chaos. I don’t know what’s going on” in a funny sort of way so he and Z share a chuckle I guess. I don’t know, I was too busy bonding with Ljunberg and gettin’ ready to rumble with the hooker who interrupted us.

So anyway, we got the signatures on a ball and on Z’s scarf. I realized afterward that if I’d been thinking, I would’ve printed out pics that I’ve taken of them at the games and had them each sign them. D’oh! Maybe next time, I guess.

For your viewing pleasure, please enjoy these rushed-so-not-great-but-passable photos taken on my iphone:

"Camel is EVERYTHING!"

2009-10-21T16:43:00.000-07:00

Snuggies are funny. I laugh at the commercials and I laugh when I see them at the store. But I've gotta admit, as one who is always cold during the fall/winter/spring in Seattle since it's hella expensive to turn on the electric heat, I kinda want one.

So I hear rumor that you can find Snuggies now that have your favorite team's logo on them. Sweet. Thanks to Google I quickly find a Seattle Seahawks "blanket snuggie." No, this is not a legitimate Snuggie. It's a knockoff. I'm apparently a Snuggie snob now, as I found myself thinking "I don't want to fork out the cash if it's not a real Snuggie." Seriously. Then my train of thought had me wondering if they came with the logos of colleges, because a BSU Snuggie would be pretty sweet, too, and could double as a Christmas gift for a few folks on my list. That's right, I said it. So I return to trusty Google and am informed that not only do such Snuggies exist, but they are LEGITIMATE Snuggies! Made by the real Snuggie company that started it all. Oh, the glory of it all.

For those of you not familiar with the many options presented to a shopper when deigning to purchase a Snuggie, I can tell you there are many. At the grocery last week I saw the "Designer prints" of "leopard" and "zebra." I also saw the standard blue Snuggie, as well as the ever-so-feminine pink Snuggie. There is also a child's size Snuggie and, though it was not available at Albertson's (or perhaps sold out), there is a Snuggie for dogs. Brilliant. What dog wouldn't love it? According to the website, you can also get a green snuggie. You can even custom design your Snuggie to say whatever you want! Oh, the possibilities.

So to summarize - there are 3 colors - pink, blue and green. And there are "Designer Prints." That's ridiculous in and of itself. But here's where I started laughing: On the website, there is an ad for all of the "Designer Prints." Apparently, Albertson's was not offering all of the options, and the one they were missing is the one I probably would've bought for the pure hilarity. The 3rd print: "camel."

You may be asking yourself, "what exactly does a camel print look like?" Well I can tell you. It's brown. That's it. It's a brown Snuggie. But I guess some genius at the Snuggie corporation decided that it would not sell as well as the green, blue or pink Snuggies if it was just sold as a brown Snuggie. But if you market this gem as a "Designer print" and call it "camel," get ready for them to fly off the shelves. Again, they weren't at Albertson's, so perhaps this was true and I just arrived too late.

Anyway, Z and I have a long-standing joke about camels being "everything." We were once watching some travel show and the host was interviewing a Bedouin and he was describing how the camel is everything: "Camel is shelter. Camel is transport. Camel is everything." (To be honest, I don't remember if those were the examples he gave. We've added so many things onto the list over the years that I don't remember what the original definition of "everything" was, but you get the idea). Anyway, it is now official. Camel is Snuggie. Camel IS everything.(Thanks again to Google, who supplied me with this random photo of 3 random dudes modeling 3 Snuggie options, most notably, "camel.")

New and Improved! Well...new.

2009-10-19T15:56:00.000-07:00

Oooooh! Ahhhh! Look at the pretty new colors! Until I learn enough about html to actually know how to create my own layout here, I'm kinda stuck with whatever generic layouts Blogger gives me to choose from. For giggles I decided to check it out and see if they had anything new for me to pick today, perhaps giving me inspiration for a new post. And look - new colors! I mean, it may not even be a new layout design option, but for whatever reason, the darker colors spoke to me today. Perhaps it's my mood. Or maybe the weather. Whatever, now the background is blue. It's exciting stuff, I know.

However, still no inspiration to write about anything even remotely interesting. I'll keep trying.

Oh, and if anyone reading this has any suggestions for topics they'd like me to tackle, I'm open to suggestions...

Walkin' the Walk (or something like that)

2009-08-30T19:32:00.000-07:00

Wow, get me, posting a blog update only 11 days after the last one. Don't get used to it.

Earlier this month I got an email from one of the various progressive websites that I subscribe to, asking me to pledge to attend at least one Town Hall discussion with a representative during August before they all go back to Washington. In spite of the fact that all conflict makes my heart rate jump and often leads to hyperventilation - even when I'm not directly involved in it - I made this pledge. I feel like I don't have full right to be as vocally supportive of Health Care Reform if I'm not really walking the walk. However, I then found that nearly all of the meetings with my rep were either during a week day when I couldn't attend because I had to work or in towns outside Seattle that weren't particularly easy to get to. I've always been incredibly honest (some might say to a fault at times) and it was worrying me that I may have made a promise via the interwebs that I was not going to be able to fulfill. Then, with just a week to go in the month, I learned of a Town Hall that was happening on a Sunday and in a town just outside of Seattle. Totally do-able. So I sucked up my hesitation, packed a paper bag to breathe into and headed out.

While my revolutionary husband would've liked to attend with me, he had to work. So I was joined with 2 of our best friends. I was grateful to have them with me. So we get in line about 2 hours before it's set to start. We then learn that the residents of this representative's congressional district were to be allowed in first and anyone else would be allowed in later. We figured, even though they are technically not in his congressional district, my friends live less than a mile away from us so we would just break the "rules" and they'd go in with me anyway. But at the front there appeared to be a sort of sign-in sheet. They figured they'd be found out, so I went in with the aim of saving seats and they waited outside. Turns out all the check-in folks asked was my zip code, which is the same as theirs, so they totally could've come in with me (this was one of those times when that honesty can be a detriment). But by the time we figured this all out, it was too late, they'd already been branded as "outsiders" and I ventured in on my own for over an hour of solo people watching. They finally got in right before it started, though only one of them could fit in the crowded bleacher space I'd been saving (I suck at saving seats apparently) so we were separated. But at least we all got in.

About 15 minutes before the meeting starts, people start marching around the gym with their signs, eliciting cheers and/or boos from others in the place who agreed or disagreed with what they said. My adrenaline shoots up but I do some deep breathing and try to stay calm. Even when the guy with the "I like my health care - buy your own" (seriously) sign walks by. Breathe, Devin.

People continue to pour in and by the time it starts our view is nearly completely blocked by people who had no seats to sit in. Here's a crappy iPhone shot of my view before it was totally blocked:

Representative Jay Inslee, who I already really like, enters and commences to give me even more reasons to like him. He introduces us to a local 4th grader who leads us all in the Pledge of Allegiance. He then asks us all to turn to our left and shake our neighbor's hand and asks that if our neighbor says something later that we disagree with, that we remember that handshake. He then starts with a brief powerpoint presentation highlighting the FACTS of our current health care system, where it is heading, and how reform would/should change it. There are a few outbursts by people who are obviously against the reform, but each time it happens he reminds us all that the sooner he can be allowed to get through it the sooner he can get to our questions. He also later thanks the 99% of us who are being respectful and allowing our neighbors to speak. Nice touch.

The questions begin. Before it started, anyone who wanted to ask a question could put their name and their city on a card and place it in one of 3 boxes - FOR Health care Reform, AGAINST Health care Reform or UNDECIDED/regarding another issue. Cards were then drawn out of the boxes and those people got to ask their questions or make their comments, so all "sides" were given an opportunity to speak. For the most part, people would let others speak and Jay was given a chance to respond. People would applaud and cheer when they agreed with what was said. But every so often someone would say something that would spark loud LOUD boos and heckles. I'd be willing to bet that if a poll was taken on every single person in that room, there were more of us in support of the bill. But those who are against it are loud. I don't know how that always seems to be true, but it does. While it wasn't to the point that I've seen it at other Town Halls (on the news), it was still a bit overwhelming at times. And each time it happened I just took a breath, took comfort in the fact that I was at least sitting with people who feel similarly to me and remembered that I am not alone. We stayed for the hour and a half that it was scheduled for and then needed to leave as one of my friends had a class he needed to get to. I was fine cutting out when we did, particularly so I could get back to a stabilized pulse rate. I'd been there, clapped and cheered my support and fulfilled my promise.

I should note right now that I realize this post is probably reading rather incoherently. I'm still processing it all. I'm trying to figure out if anything was really accomplished by it all. I hope so. I'm glad I was there to at least act as a head in the crowd who was cheering on my representative's support of the bill. I'm happy I got to hear my Rep speak and see him diffuse a frequently tense situation with honesty (if he didn't know the answer to something he made sure his staff had that person's contact information and he would look into that specific issue and keep in touch with that person) and at times, humor. There were some good points made - many by Inslee and also by a few people asking questions. But mainly, it was a bunch of people who had already made up their minds and didn't really want to work with the other "side." ("Side" Note: I keep putting "side" in quotes because I hate that things have become so contentious between people in this country that we are no longer constituents but are really now relegated to "sides." Us against them.) It makes me sad. But I can't say I'm any different. I don't want to negotiate. I want Health Care Reform now. I want a Public Option. I want Socialism, dammit! So I'm no different than anyone else on the other "side" who won't hear the other "side's" thoughts, am I?

It's pretty great that we live in a country where we really do get the chance to voice our opinions on issues. And regardless of how much I disagree with many people in attendance today (particularly those who showed up there - as they do anywhere there's a political discussion - with giant, grossly inappropriate posters of graphic, awful pictures of aborted fetuses and make everything an issue about abortion) I do appreciate that people are taking an active interest in the workings of their country. Apathy really is the biggest enemy in a democracy, right? I say this every election day that rolls around and I get so frustrated with those who are given the voice to vote and don't use it.

But honestly, with some issues, I just wish the other "side" would stop caring.

Complete and Utter Randomness

2009-08-19T21:26:00.000-07:00

It has been forever and a half since I've written anything in this blog. I keep thinking that I need to write about a funny experience, but I haven't had any funny experiences. But I feel I owe it to my loyal followers (all 2 of you) to give you something. So I've decided to compile a list of totally random things - events, trivia about my life, whatever thought I'm having as I type - exciting stuff. But I needed a picture so that when my blog listing shows up on Emi's blog, there will be a picture attached and people won't be able to ignore it. So I decided to google images for "random" and use whatever came up first. See above. Pretty, huh? But the thing that came up 2nd was just as pretty, just in a different way. Cuz I'm a giver - and a fan - I'll share for your viewing pleasure. See below:

Literally, as I was typing the above, Moby jumped up on the table and started sniffing a flower we have in a vase. Here is a picture of said flower, courtesy of my handy dandy iPhone that conveniently sits beside me: Notice the...what are they called? My middle school science knowledge is failing me...stamen? The little antennae things that are covered in a sort of orange powder in the middle of the flower. Notice those. Moby sniffed them. He now looks like this:
No, he doesn't naturally have orange powdery splotches on his face. Although I guess you could say it was nature that gave him those splotches just now. He now looks like he got into a bag of Cheetos.

Mobes is handy like that. Ask for randomness, he's happy to provide.

Ok. What else have I got...

* The whole health care reform issue gets me worked up like little else. Just typing this gets my blood pressure rising. There is no debate - our current system is in dire need of reform. Anyone who disagrees is wrong. I generally try to be open minded and at least try to see the other side's point of view. I can't do it on this one. I've spent enough of my life without health insurance and plenty of health problems to know that the current system isn't working for anyone but the insurance company executives. If you disagree, do not post something about your disagreement here. I have no tolerance for it.

* I have awesome friends. Examples:

1) I arrived at work today to find a voicemail message from one such friend's little one, singing Yellow Submarine to me. It's on my work voicemail so I can now listen to it whenever I need a smile. Such a great way to start my day.
2) Another took a quick trip to a bakery at Pike Place Market today and brought me back one of the best desserts I've ever eaten. An amazing brownie with cream cheese frosting, drizzled with a sort of MagicShell chocolate icing. So fantastically good I don't care how many calories it transferred directly to my ass.

3) Yet another sent me a coupon for a free taco! Not a discounted taco, a FREE taco! So freakin' sweet!

That's just a small sampling. If you're somehow reading this and not noticing anything about one of the good deeds that you did for me, don't think it went unnoticed. This is all random, remember?

* I've been taking the bus a lot lately, as Z got a new job that often requires him to work a bit later. I keep expecting more funny bus stories to happen to me. So far, not much. I guess that in and of itself is a story. Although I did have a guy wave his hand in my general direction to get my attention and after mumbling his request for some spare change once I took out my earphones and leaned in close, I had to be honest and tell him I had no change on me. He stared at me with disappointed eyes. Not so much disappointed that I wasn't giving him money, but disappointed that I was lying. But I actually wasn't! I had zero dollars on me! I didn't appreciate that false judgment.

* I have an awesome husband. Prime example: a few weeks ago he and I and a friend of ours were walking down the street from the car to a Sounders game when a woman came up to us and - again - asked for a few bucks. She said she's pregnant and usually goes to the rescue mission, but it was closed on that particular day. We didn't have any small bills and aren't really financially comfortable enough to give out twenties, so rather than blow her off (and let's be honest, many of us would), he invited her to walk with us to a store on the way where he could buy her something to eat. That's pretty fantastic and I have to admit it's probably not something I would've even thought to do.

* Speaking of the Sounders, there are some people that sit behind us at the games (we have season tickets so we're in the same seats around the same people each time) who seem to be unable to handle more than a minute without the sound of their own voices. They are always saying things that are totally obvious. Why waste your breath? An example: One game was particularly aggravating and the crowd was calling for a lot of fouls that weren't getting called. Mr. Obvious says "The refs are getting a lot of help today." Wow. Thanks for pointing that out. Of course they aren't talking to us, but in rather close quarters, as they are, we hear everything they say. So now it has become code for me and Z. Whenever we hear something obvious, "The refs are getting a lot of help today." Use it. Spread it. Let's make this big.

* It is 10:13pm. I should go to bed.

Sometimes I Miss the Subway...

2009-05-05T09:16:00.000-07:00

Since I've documented my past bus issues on this blog, I felt it my civic responsibility to document my latest aggravation. For any readers in the Seattle area, the geography will make more sense. For anyone else, just take my word for it.

I left work at 3:30 to catch the bus to my therapist’s office by Pioneer Square (turned out to be a rather fortuitous destination). Naturally, the storm that had been threatening all day decided to hit about 5 minutes before I left, so that was lovely. Fortunately it was just sprinkling at the time. Anyhoo, the last time I bussed it over there from work I took a bus from the bus tunnel transit stop. But yesterday I saw that a bus arrived at 3:41 at Stewart and Yale, so I thought I’d take that instead since it was a closer stop and I'm lazy. So I walk over there and realize that the usual bus stop is closed because of the construction that has thrown our morning commute off, too. Damn construction. So I look at the sign that says where the stop has moved. It’s now in front of Play it Again Sports, across the street. So I walk over there and wait. There’s another guy over there waiting, too. Eventually, a bus shows up, but it’s not the one I’m waiting for. The other guy goes to get on and says “this one is going downtown if that’s where you’re headed” and I say “thanks. That’s ok, I can see my bus right there.” It was just coming around the corner. So this bus pulls away and I go and stand right at the curb and wait for mine to pull up. I notice that it’s not getting into the right lane to pick me up and there’s no reason for it not to. Traffic moves forward and he still doesn’t move to the right. I then realize that he’s not going to effing stop! So I’m trying to figure out what to do and I consider just walking across the street and knocking on the door as he’s stopped at the light. But I hesitated too long and a big ol' semi truck pulls up between me and the bus and I can’t do it. Damn my slow decision-making skills and fear of breaking the rules! I’m freaking out because my appointment is in 15 minutes and I now have no idea how to get there. So I start booking it down the street in the direction that the damn bus is headed, hoping maybe I can catch up to it at some later stop. Well of course I can’t. So I reach a bus stop further down Stewart where a bus is loading up a bunch of people and I ask the driver how far into downtown he goes (it’s one of the fancy transit busses that was headed to Tacoma). The (blessedly) friendly driver says “2nd Ave” and I say “close enough” and hop on (fortunately my decision-making ability kicked in at that moment at least). I hear another rider ask a few stops down how close he gets to Safeco Field and he says he goes to Washington, so I’m thinking this should be perfect. Well after stopping for what felt like every bus rider in Seattle along the way, we finally reach the last stop on the ride free zone, 2nd and Washington. I leap off and finally luck is on my side cuz the building I’m headed for is at 1st and Washington and I’m only about 7 minutes late for my appointment. My therapist was really cool about it, so it was fine. Just so damn aggravating because for the 2nd time, a bus has complete blown past me! What the hell??!!!!

But my bus woes don't end there. So my appointment is over and I start to head for the bus home. Well as you may know, streets around here are confusing as hell and stop and start all over the place. Each time I’ve gone to this bus stop I think I’ve taken a different walking route to get there. Apparently I took the wrong one this time because I’m walking up 1st, looking for James St., and it’s not showing up. I keep walking and walking and it’s not there. So I finally think “screw it, I’ll just walk up to 3rd Ave and pick up the 358 at any of its stops cuz I know it stops all along 3rd.” So I pack my provisions and pick up my sherpa guides and make the huge hike up to 3rd (I despise the hill from 1st to 3rd) and hit a bus stop just a minute or so before the 358 arrives. I’m proud of myself at this moment. Yay me.

So I get on and there isn’t the usual plethora of empty seats to choose from, since I’m getting on further down than I usually do. So the only empty row I see is in the back of the bus. I grab the seat and as I’m sitting, I notice Crazy across the aisle. Son of a bitch! This woman is flailing her arms and legs and chanting incoherent words and sounds. Ugh. So I put on my headphones and crank up the music and hope that she tires herself out sooner rather than later. First I tried Jack Johnson, but that was too quiet and mellow to drown her out. So I went with the Foo Fighters. Even that had to be cranked up louder and fast forwarded through a bit because the beginning of some of the songs were just too damn quiet to drown out the crazy. A few people sat down next to me and I was thankful for the buffer, but both times they only stayed there briefly before moving up to some less crazy-saturated seat a stop or two down the line. After about 20 minutes of it, I notice that there are some open seats that I can move to so I do. I can still hear her, but not as loud and her crazy dance isn’t in my peripheral, distracting me from my book (that is, naturally, in the climax of the story so is particularly interesting right now, making it even more irritating that I'm being distracted). I am finally able to hop off the bus at my stop, about 45 minutes after getting on. And she never stopped. I’m not sure if she was crazy or on copious amounts of drugs or both. Still, as insanely annoying as she was, I couldn’t help but be a little jealous of her energy level. Cuz I was exhausted.

So I’m now walking home the few blocks from the stop and of course the weather has taken this moment to start torrentially raining with hurricane force winds. Of course I’m exaggerating, but it was really sucktastic – not just the drizzle I dealt with earlier in the afternoon. So by the time I finally got home I was cold, wet, exhausted and irritated.

And we were out of chocolate in the house, which just made matters worse.

I think it may be important to note at this point that I really am not as negative a person as this blog must make me sound. I just find rants easier and more interesting to type. I'll try to work on more positive experiences to add. And maybe my therapist can help me with my negativity. I'll just need to take a different bus to get to her next time or it may be a lost cause.

Why Did the Sounders Fans Cross the Road?

2009-03-20T10:27:00.001-07:00

Last night, Z and I went (as proud Season Ticket Holders) to the inaugural Sounders FC game. Growing up in a country outside the US, my husband is understandably a HUGE fan of the World's Game. And I enjoy watching the game, as well as the hot guys who tend to play it. We were both very excited.

So first and foremost, let me say how much that game kicked ass! Our seats were on the end of the field where we were right next to the end where we scored 2 of the 3 goals, and since they switch sides in the 2nd half, we got to see all of our goal keeper’s amazing saves up close, too! It was so great! My voice went a bit hoarse but Z sounds like he was out all night drinking last night from all the shouting and cheering and celebrating. It only barely sprinkled on us a little bit, so the rain wasn’t a problem after all, which was awesome. And talk about great seats! I was imagining what it must be like to sit there during a Seahawks game. We were in the lowest section, closest to the field, not our usual Seahawks seats in the 2nd to the last row in the tippy top of the stadium. So cool! And we found parking in a lot not too far away for only $5. AND by the time we got back to the car and drove home, we were home by 9 – so it wasn’t even a late night! Such a great game to start the team off with – a 3-0 shutout of a team that was in the MLS Cup Championship game last season!

That was all great and I am not going to let the earlier evening’s unpleasantness overshadow it. However, it bears mention.

So we’re walking from the parking lot to the stadium, down around Pioneer Square. I’m following Z and he decides to cross at a crosswalk where the light is still green but the crosswalk signal is blocked by a bus (from our angle at least – you could see it if we’d waited to start the cross until we were all the way at the edge of the corner, but we didn’t). I figured the signal was probably blinking and we should just wait, but Z starts to quickly walk across the street, so I follow. It wasn’t like there was a long period of time where we thought it over, it all happened in a fraction of a second, ya know? Well another thing blocked by the bus was the traffic cop who was standing on the corner there. Great. He waves us to keep crossing after we’ve started and once we get across he asks to see both of our IDs since we were jaywalking. He then proceeds to talk in an extremely condescending tone to my husband, explaining how we should not have crossed the street when the light was flashing. He was really the stereotype of the asshole cop who seems to need to talk down to people to make himself feel powerful. He was a prick, no doubt about it. Well as you may know, my husband does not like to be talked down to. In fact, he refuses. I appreciate this fact about him. However I disagree with the ways he tends to express his unhappiness. He ends up getting in an argument with the cop and finally just says “Fine, you know what, nevermind. Just give me the ticket so we can get going.” To which the a-hole replies “Alright then, I can do that.”

Lovely.

So we have to follow him over to his car (he’s still holding our licenses so it’s not like we could run) and he proceeds to write out Zaki a ticket for $56. For jaywalking. (For the record, I asked Z later and this is apparently less money than the ticket he got a few months back for speeding 5 whole miles over 60 on I-5 - yes, he was going a whopping 65 on the freeway. So that’s something I suppose.) Once he’s done writing the ticket the jerk asks me if I would be willing to listen to him or if I’d like a ticket, too. I said I’d be fine to just listen to him. And then this jackass proceeds to go over the EXACT SAME things that he was just saying to Z. As if I hadn’t heard him. Again, he just needed to exert his power or something. I just nodded and stayed silent until he gave me my license back so we could get out of there without owing another 56 damn dollars.

As you can imagine, this ruined our moods for a while and we really had to struggle to forget about it.

Anyway, Z says he’s going to fight it. I imagine if he does go in they will reduce the fine but since we were, technically, jaywalking, they won’t throw out the ticket.

So let that be a lesson to you: I had always looked at the flashing crosswalk sign as a signal to hurry up and cross cuz your time was about up. Apparently it REALLY means that you need to stay put so that cars can turn.

Oh, and if you’re gonna stand your ground with an asshole traffic cop, whatever you do, don’t dare him to give you a ticket.

Grey Street

2009-01-14T15:13:00.000-08:00

We live in Seattle. We have for the better part of 5 and 1/2 years. So the fact that Winters are long and grey here is not news to us. But for whatever reason, maybe the fact that we got a ton of snow a few weeks ago, this winter is seeming even more grey than usual. Example:

When we went out to the car this morning at 7:15 to go to work and it was still kinda dark out, I looked up at the sky and said “Oh my gosh! Look at the sky!”
Z:“What?”
D: “There are no clouds! It’s clear!”
Z: “No it’s not.”
D: “Yes it is! Look at the moon!”
Z: (after looking at the moon) “Holy crap! It is!”
D: “It’s been so long you’ve forgotten what it looks like, haven’t you?!”

Now at the time, we laughed. It's still funny. But it's also sad, cuz it really is true. The clouds don't have any definition that show where the breaks of sky are and where the clouds start. It's just a solidly grey sky, all the time. But this morning, there were no clouds! We could see Mount Rainier as we drove down I-5! And as the sun came up, it stayed that way!

For about an hour.

And ever since, this has been the view from outside my office window:

Granted, this was taken with my phone. Through a window. So the quality is bound to be bad. But honestly, it's a pretty accurate representation of what it looks like.

My Seattle Winter mantra: Remember the summer. Hold on for the summer.

Baby Love

2009-01-10T14:30:00.000-08:00

(If you're for some reason reading this post and wondering what the heck I'm talking about - there was originally a pic here of me and my beautiful newborn nephew. At the request of his parents, I've removed the pic. But if you know me and wanna see the pic, shoot me an email :). And just trust that he's the cutest thing EVER.)

I'm sorry, but could this kid BE any cuter???!!! No, no he could not. For anyone reading this who doesn't already know (although I don't know who that would be), this beautiful specimen of perfection is my new nephew, Eli Benjamin. Sweetest. Baby. Ever. And no, I'm not biased.

Meeting him last week really got the biological clock ticking. I mean, I just celebrated the Big 3-0 so I'm not getting any younger. But while my previous concern about having kids was whether I could handle it or not, now it is whether I could handle moving past the newborn phase. Seriously. Holding Eli is my new very favorite thing in the world. I've held newborns before, but there was just something about having him sleep on my chest the way he did - I don't know. And even the few times that he did cry, I wasn't bothered at all! That shocked me about myself, but I think it may have been because he was truly upset about something (hungry, wet) and not just screaming cuz he needed a nap. Cuz when he needed a nap, he just fell asleep! Brilliant! (I'm looking at you, toddlers! Take note!) So how do you still tolerate your kids when they get older and start to scream for no reason and talk back and you are left to think back to how sweet they were when they were a week old? How does that not just devastate you? I mean, I'm not deluded enough to think that my kids are going to be as angellic as I was as a child (right, Mom?). And if they have even a fraction of the opinionated, stubborn personality of their mother and father, Z and I are doomed.

So until I've reconciled this within myself, I'm opening myself up to anyone who may not care for the newborn stage. I find it hard to imagine, but apparently there are those who find it exhausting and look forward to their kids being able to do things for themselves. So they can drop the kid off with me and I'll take care of them like they're my own. Then, as soon as they start thinking and doing for themselves, back to biological mom and dad they can go. Easy, right?

I'm only partially kidding, by the way.

But seriously, what is cuter than this???:

(Sorry, the pic was removed - but take my word for it)

NOTHING! That's what!

Who's Jealous Now?

2008-12-18T16:09:00.000-08:00

So much for keeping up with this blog as I'd hoped. My bad. Zaki and I went on our first vacation in about 15 years (yes, that's longer than we've been together) and discovered paradise in Hawaii. That pretty much ruled. And ever since returning I feel like I've been running at full speed to catch up. But today Mother Nature gave me a snow day from work and I know that if I don't update my blog, Emi may never forgive me. So here it is.

I could write about Hawaii, but I don't want to make anyone jealous.

Oh, who am I kidding? I want to make everyone jealous! That's why I'm sending photo Christmas cards this year with a prominently displayed picture of us in front of a beach sunset. I haven't sent out physical cards in a few years, but I had to make an exception this year. I'm always hearing about other people's vacations and fun and dammit, I don't know when I'll get another one so I'm taking the full brag potential this time around. But if you don't get one of these cards, don't feel too bad. I went for the expensive option (like I said, I don't know when I'll get another chance) so I only ordered a limited number. But if you'd still like to feel jealous of me, check this out:

That's right - we're pirates. And I'm holding a bird in my hand. And that bird is saying "Hey Boss!" It was as awesome as you think it is.

Anyhoo, Hawaii was amazing, nuff said.

When I got back to the real world, I found myself organizing a surprise baby shower with about a week and a half notice. Not to toot my own horn, but it ruled. I am a great party planner, at least when I want to be. The new mama was totally surprised and called it the best party she's ever been to. And unlike some people I know, she's not the type to lie about that. I think. Regardless, it ruled and I'm proud of it.

Unfortunately, right about the same time as I was planning this party at my little condo, I was dealing with a feud with my cat. For those of you who haven't met my cat, let me tell you a little bit about him. His name is Moby. He comes from a Jerry Springer home and is very lucky to live where he is. His name came to him cuz we thought it sounded good and fit him. However, turns out it is two-fold, cuz he's a dick. We love him, but he's a dick. Another nickname we have for him is Jack. As in Ass. He's totally snuggly and loveable one minute and the next he's a monumental pain in the buttocks. You may be saying "Uh, yeah, sounds like a cat." Don't sass me. I've had cats my entire life. No one is more familiar with feline behavior than I am. But this cat is a jerk. I love him but he's a jerk. Case in point:

When we got back from Hawaii, Moby was pissed. Not cuz we were back but because we had been gone in the first place. We didn't have anyone staying overnight with him this time so he only had visitors a time or two each day. So he was mad at being lonely. He was also (understandably) mad that his box wasn't cleaned in its usual timely manner. So we returned to a bunch of litter that was kicked out of his box and had been tracked all over the house. I promptly vacuumed (sorry neighbors, since this was at 10:30pm) and assumed no further problems would ensue. Wrong.

Long story short, Moby has now taken to obsessively pawing at the side of his litter box, the floor around the box, anything that happens to be around his box and most problematically, the floor of the litter box. He kicks it out and then proceeds to track it around the place. We thought maybe he wanted all new litter - no change. We thought maybe he wanted a new box - still he shows his OCD. Would a new box with a flap door slow him down a bit? Sure wouldn't. So there is a constant argument between Moby and (mostly) Z about how Mobes needs to stop being a jackass. We're here for crying out loud. Moby's not having it. We've made an appointment with the vet to make sure that there isn't anything more serious going on, but given the fact that he continues to use his box successfully in addition to the 97 times an hour he goes in just to kick litter around, I don't think he's sick. If nothing else, maybe our vet can suggest some way to calm him down.

And then we're leaving for Boise as soon as we get word that my sister-in-law is going into labor. So even if we find a solution, we're just going to psychologically damage him more in a week or two. Good times.

How did I start this? Oh yeah, so I'm trying to prepare my 690 square foot condo for a lovely baby shower, but I've got cat litter constantly under foot. And did I mention that my vacuum cleaner is crap? I would say it sucks, but that's the problem - it doesn't. So I'm running around the place, rolling the dustbuster all over the floor, trying to clean. It was a good time. Fortunately, once people started showing up for the party, Moby freaked out and hit in the box spring, as he is wont to do. So no more litter. Until everyone left, that is.

Suggestions? Anyone? Seriously, it's not fun. Earlier today Z told Moby to come over and fight like a man by wrestling him. I'm not honestly sure who would win that battle, but I'm inclined to put my money on the cat. I mean, just look at his crazy eyes:

Cra-a-a-zay (Think Gnarls Barkley)

2008-11-12T16:08:00.001-08:00

I was driving down the street the other day to pick Zaki up from work. I pulled up to a stop light just about the time 2 bicyclists were pulling up in the bike lane beside me. I then see a pedestrian crossing in the crosswalk in front of me - he looks like he may be homeless but perhaps he is just not all that interested in hygiene - hard to say. Anyway, I notice that he's walking rather slowly and has his arm fully extended in the air and is looking in my direction. And he's flipping me off. Or he's flipping the bikers off. Or he's flipping off the fact that he has to cross the street. Or he's just flipping off everything and everybody. I have no idea. It didn't seem particularly aimed at me or at the bikers, but it could have been. None of us did anything obviously wrong - no one had to slam on their breaks, no one threw their garbage at him, there were no apparent infractions of the vehicle/pedestrian or biker/pedestrian code. I glanced at the bikers to see if they seemed to recognize him but the bikers and I just continued to act as though this wasn't happening. Because he was obviously crazy.

But was he? Sometimes I wonder if, like cats, "crazy" people are able to see and hear things that we don't. Real things (I swear cats have a reason for darting around the house like they're chasing something even though we can't see it). What if they're right and the rest of us "sane" ones are wrong? I suppose this just makes me sound crazy, too. But who's to say Long-Haired-Bird-Wagging Dude didn't have a perfectly viable reason for his actions? And he was wondering why we weren't all acting accordingly.

Or not.

Yes We Did

2008-11-08T19:11:00.001-08:00

It turns out blogging is harder than I thought it would be. I guess maybe I just had some funny stories to tell when I first started this thing and ever since I keep thinking I'll update when something else interesting happens. But nothing has. To me I mean. But there have been so many huge things that have happened in the world lately that I figure I'll just write about them.

In case you hadn't heard, the next president of the United States is BARACK OBAMA!!!!! There really aren't words for how happy this makes me. I am still occasionally overcome with joy (manifested in tears and/or squeals) when I think about it. I saw his first press conference yesterday and I went nuts - that's our Commander in Chief!!! Zaki laughed at me because my glee was so seemingly-random and I couldn't control it. But he's just what a prez is supposed to look like and sound like - smart, in control, smooth. I love him so much. And did you happen to see that video of him walking out of some building the other day wearing a baseball cap, jeans and sneakers? President Bad Ass! Taking the reigns from our current President Dumb Ass. The night after the election I had a dream that I ran into Obizzle walking down the street and I just went up to him and threw my arms around him and told him how much I love him and how wonderful he is. He was very, very gracious and hugged me right back. Part of me would like to think it would go like that if I ever met him. But he's got all that secret service around him so it probably wouldn't be as pretty as my dream. Besides, if the way I act around David Sedaris is any indication, I'd probably just freeze and say a few incoherent words before smiling and walking away embarrassed.

I've got a cold now. I used to get a cold every Christmas break or after every play I did. I haven't done any shows lately and I'm not in school so I'm thinking this is a post-election cold. I really did sleep as though a huge weight was lifted off of me after the election. Is that crazy? I wasn't the one running and aside from the money I donated and the countless conversations I've had about his awesomeness over the last year I wasn't working on the campaign. But I felt like my future and the future of my soon-to-be-born nephew and the kids I want to have some day was at stake. When Kerry lost 4 years ago I had a major meltdown the night after election day. Ask Zaki - it was messy. I was sure that W would run this country and possibly the planet into the ground and I couldn't in good conscience bring a child into the world with him in office. Of course I wasn't planning to have a kid during that time, but it was a matter of principle. But now, even though he did manage to largely run us into the ground, we've got a prez who can and will lift us up. So I guess now I've got no excuse not to start popping out the kids.

This is a lot of rambling so I should probably wrap it up. For anyone who is still reading, my apologies for any incoherence. Perhaps I will post another update before 6 months goes by...

And Now For Something Completely Different

2008-08-29T14:03:00.000-07:00

I'm taking a break from my usual humor-laced blog today. I'll try not to get too deep...

Last night's speech by Barack Obama moved me so much that my eyes keep welling up a day later as I think about it. Then this morning's announcement that McCain chose a woman as his running mate started to make me a bit nervous - will women vote for McCain now just because he's got a woman on the ticket, regardless of the fact that she is not an advocate for women's issues? Obviously that's the idea and it made me unsettled. Then I suddenly remembered something from "The Secret" that really hit me at the time but I had sort of forgotten about until now. It mentions how people who rally against causes are frequently not successful. This is because of the nature of attraction – rallying against something just brings up more of the negative feelings and they keep coming back. This may be why Kerry didn’t win in 2004 – people weren’t voting FOR him as much as they were voting AGAINST Bush.

This year is different. We aren’t just voting AGAINST McCain and the last 8 years – though that’s certainly part of it. But this time we’re voting FOR Barack and FOR the hope he brings with him.

My officemate is a die-hard Democrat who had been leaning toward Hillary but would vote for whoever the Dem candidate ended up being. She saw Hillary’s speech on Tuesday and was moved enough to volunteer for the Obama campaign. And she went to an Obama houseparty last night, with a whole bunch of people she didn’t know and was totally out of her comfort zone but felt moved to do it. And after hearing his speech (and crying off-and-on throughout) she said she is no longer just behind him because he is the Democratic nominee, she is now behind him because of WHO HE IS.

Amazing.

We’re gonna win this time.

Wii Wii Wii Wii Wii All The Way Home

2008-08-07T14:26:00.000-07:00

Has your spouse ever bought something that you know you should be upset that he or she bought, but because you like it, you aren’t as upset as you ought to be?

Z has been whining about wanting a Wii forever. But it’s really picked up intensity for some reason over the last week. I want one, too, but I know we should not be putting more stuff on our credit cards. He knows this, too, but it doesn’t stop him from whining about it.

Well he decided today, without telling me first (he knows I would’ve talked him out of it again), that he’d go to GameStop at Westlake during his lunch hour and if they had one in stock, he was gonna buy it cuz it would be fate or something. He asked and the girl said they were out. Then she said “Wait, lemme check again.” Turns out they had 1 left.

So he bought it.

Turd.

Yet I can’t wait to play it.

He informed me by sending an email that simply said “Where did this come from?” and an attached picture of himself holding the box and looking confused. Goofball. He told his co-worker that took the shot that this would be the first time he’d sent me a picture that would make me simultaneously pissed and excited.

He was correct.

Bussin' It

2008-07-29T14:53:00.000-07:00

Normally, Z picks me up after work and we carpool home together. But occasionally something comes up and I have to find my own way home. As I got over my fear of getting lost on public transportation when we lived in NYC, I'm not afraid to take the bus home. However, I have never liked taking routes that require me to get off of one bus and transfer to another. When given the option, I'll almost always choose the route that may take a bit longer but lets me sit my butt in a seat for the entire time. I can read and not have to worry about missing my transfer spot or not being able to find the next bus, etc.

Well I guess I was feeling like I needed to shake stuff up a bit yesterday, and I went way out on the edge and decided to try a new route home. The route that I normally would have taken would've dropped me off about 1/4 of a mile to the west of our condo. But I wanted to take advantage of my husband-free time and stop at the drugstore for a few things first (little-known-fact about Devin: I love drugstores. I love browsing and looking at all the odds-and-ends that I don't need but would probably enjoy, such as new makeup, gadgets, etc. I love taking my time to pick out the perfect birthday card. I love it all. Not surprisingly, Z does not find this same joy in drugstores. But we typically end up stopping there on our way home from work. Together. Thus, when given the opportunity, I will take my time and peruse the goods without an impatient Z chomping at the bit to leave). But the drugstore is about 1/4 mile to the West of our condo. Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm lazy. So I faced a difficult choice: take a bus route that requires the energy necessary to make a transfer and get dropped off right by the drugstore OR take the longer route home with no transfers and walk 1/2 mile to the drugstore, and then back home 1/4 mile afterward. It was a tough call, but I went with the bus transfer. (Brief note: I would just like to point out how much energy I spend figuring out how to best be lazy. It makes no sense, I know).

So I get on the bus at its final stop downtown with no problem. I even scored a seat in the back of the full bus - wedged between 2 large guys, but a seat is a seat. My transfer location is listed as being located on a ramp off I-5. I assume that, since this ramp is located at a pretty busy intersection, it will be a heavily used transfer stop. Wrong. I notice that we get on the ramp and no one has yet pulled the "Stop Requested" rope yet. "Maybe it is just so popular that it stops there automatically" I think to myself. I can tell we're getting close and am noticing no signs of slowing down. I figure I may as well pull the rope, just in case. I do this just in time, as I am apparently the only one on the bus who wants to stop here. So I awkwardly maneuver myself and my backpack and my purse and my ipod through the crowded bus, trying hard not to step on anyone in the process, all the while trying not to feel as self-conscious as I do, being the only person moving on the bus. After fumbling with my bus pass for a second, I make it out the door and the bus continues on.

I notice a stairway that leads up off the freeway and onto the intersection where my next bus stop is to be located. Looking back on this I assume that if I'd glanced around myself for 2 seconds before heading up the stairs, I might have found a pathway that would have taken me under the street overhead and shown me to the stairway that would lead directly to the next bus stop on the opposite side of the street. I assume this, because once I get up to the intersection, the only way to cross is to go in a U-shape - East across 5th, North across 145th, and back West across 5th again. Ugh. Did I mention that I'm lazy? Fortunately I've got about 8 minutes until my next bus is due to pick me up.

I make it over with a few minutes to spare and I decide to have a seat inside the little bench shelter. I am the only person there, but on one of the benches there is an unopened package of vacuum cleaner bags and a nearly-full styrofoam cup of what looks like it might have been an orange milkshake in the not-too-distant past. The abandonment of these items puzzles me. First off, I'm a huge milkshake fan. I can imagine few instances when I would take off and leave a nearly full cup of ice cream goodness to go to waste. Second, I recall only one occasion in my adult life where I had to buy vacuum cleaner bags and I seem to remember it wasn't just something I picked up on a whim at Albertson's - I had to really know what I was looking for. And even then I think I got the wrong thing. I remember accompanying my parents to the vacuum store as a kid to get bags. It was a specific trip. You can't buy those things just anywhere. So I'm thinking whoever left those bags there must have had a pretty compelling reason to leave them behind. Again, it may be my laziness talking, but if you're going to go to the trouble to find vacuum cleaner bags once, you probably aren't going to want to do it again in the immediate future.

So I sit and ponder this some more and look forward to my trip to Walgreen's. I glance down at my watch and it's almost 4:00. The bus is to arrive at 4:03. I look around and notice the bus at the intersection, getting ready to turn toward me. I step out of the shelter and wait, watching the bus drive closer. And closer. And closer. And past me.

I stop and think for a moment - should I run after it? Could I possibly make it in time before the light at the intersection a block away, where it is currently stopped, changes? There's no way, given all the crap I'm carrying. I then think perhaps I've realized the motivation behind the abandonment of the vacuum bags and the milkshake and I briefly laugh to myself as I envision the poor sap, so desperate to get home that he leaves his very specific purchase and his delicious treat, running down the street after the bus. But my mind quickly gets back to my own predicament: What the hell?! I looked right at the bus driver and he didn't even look at the stop. Did I do something wrong? Was I supposed to be jumping around, flagging him down? Is he a jackass or simply an idiot? Or maybe this is his first day on the route and he just made a mistake and I should give him a break. Screw that! And why did no one else on the bus tell him I was there - surely someone had to see me and my bewildered expression, waiting outside that shelter. Son of a! I stopped to breathe for a moment and considered my options. It was, according to my watch, only 4pm. Maybe this was not my bus, as it wasn't due until 4:03. Maybe this was the earlier bus, making up some other missed stops or something, and my expected 4:03 would be here momentarily. I'd give it until 4:10.

Well of course no other bus showed up. The schedule listed at the shelter indicated that the next bus wouldn't be due for 1/2 hour. And of course this was the only bus that travels down this street. So I again had 2 options: I could sit at the stop for 1/2 hour and HOPE that the next time around the bus would stop. Or I could suck it up and start hoofin' it. You may be surprised to learn, given the laziness I have mentioned, that I actually sucked it up and started walkin'.

It's not a huge walk - it's probably about 3/4 of a mile. I imagine I walked more than this regularly when I was in NYC. But most of the streets are flat in NYC. And even though I drive this road all the time, I had never noticed that it is largely a series of inclines. So this is automatically a tougher walk. Also, I had not mentally prepared for it. I need to be psyched up for physical exercise. And yes, the weather was fortunately quite nice and sunny. However, I have been cursed with a sweat response equal only to that of Ruben Studdard and I started dripping about 3 steps into the hike. So it goes without saying that I was irritated with my situation.

I finally arrived at the drugstore about 1/2 hour later, totally sweaty. Suddenly my list of reasons for wanting to hang out at Walgreen's increased as I couldn't wait to lounge in the air conditioning for a while before heading back out for the last 1/2 mile walk home. So I took full advantage, found just the right cards, enjoyed not being rushed, and finally headed home.

To recap, I would've been further ahead to take the bus route that would have dropped me off 1/4 of a mile away from the condo. Walking from there to the drugstore and back home would've been about 3/4 of a mile total, if that. Instead, I took the bus with the transfer and ended up walking just over a mile. So much for being lazy.

But at least I could more easily justify eating the candy I bought at Walgreen's.

As I stopped at the mailbox to pick up our mail, I was greeted by my very favorite, happiest sign of the late summer - the new Ikea catalog. As though recognizing that it owed me something, the universe got back on my good side.

Hope for the Future...of Reality TV

2008-07-20T13:43:00.000-07:00

2008 is proving to be something of a defining moment for me and my reality competition TV shows. First, my preference to be Bret Michaels' Rock of Love, Ambre (the one who seemed destined for runner-up as she was so much less nasty - and thus, seemingly less appealing to Bret - than Daisy) actually won his heart, if only for long enough to get him some "hot monkey sex" (his words, not mine). Then, in the pinnacle of reality competitions, my choice (okay, full disclosure: my obsession) to win American Idol ACTUALLY won the show. And as if I could realistically ask for more, my favorite Top Chef contestant won not only the competition, but went on to win Fan Favorite, too! The tides have turned, the mood has changed and I'm starting to get excited about the possibilities for greatness. Perhaps it's the political atmosphere in this country, but I can't help feeling that there really is hope for a better crop of Reality Show winners. And isn't that what "a better tomorrow" is really all about, after all?

It's not just the winners that are improving. It's the runners-up, too. It's like judges (and producers, because let's be honest – they have a lot to do with the results no matter how much they may deny it) and the voting public has finally caught on to my long-held beliefs on judging standards:
1. If the show is trashy (such as "Rock of Love"), the final two should be comprised of the one winner we all know the host should choose and the one runner-up that is the most entertaining, controversial, trashy and hilarious, that you actually start to think might win it all. The longer he/she is in the competition, the longer we'll watch. Just don't let him/her win. We may love the theatrics, but ultimately, we trashy-show viewers are romantics at heart and want a fairy tale ending – hot monkey sex not withstanding.
2. If the show is a singing competition, get rid of the guy(s) and/or girl(s) I dislike the most right away. If you're not sure who that is, give me a call. I'm tired of enduring weeks and weeks of uninteresting performances by people I find boring/annoying/free of personality/egotistical. And while I could stop watching the show until they have been kicked off, it seems unfair to ask me to miss out on all of the performers who don't bother me. It would just be better to ask me who should get the boot. No one else need be consulted. If only I could get back those minutes of my life back where I had to sit through Syesha Mercado and Scott Savol performances. I could've had a V-8. But if there is one contestant that is clearly far-and-away better (and hotter) than the competition, and another that is a big draw for the tween vote AND can sing AND doesn't drive me nuts, I can appreciate the need for this demographic and I won't begrudge the advertisers, so the youth-vote can be allowed to keep their heartthrob in the competition until the finale. As long as the hot rocker wins it all.
3. Similar to the singing competition rules above, if there is a cooking show that has multiple unlikable contestants and a few obviously superior contestants, go ahead and let the judges keep ONE of the annoying contestants around for the finale, as the drama he or she will create will keep fair-weather watchers coming back. Even lead him or her to believe he or she will win it all. Just make sure one of the obviously deserving, non-irritating contestants wins. If unsure who falls into which category, again, I am happy to provide this information. Just give me a call. If these standards are followed, at the very minimum as loose guidelines, we can be assured of not only the best winners, but the best runners-up. And we all know what that could potentially mean: A better crop of people to star in upcoming "CelebReality" competitions on VH1! Who wouldn't watch "The Surreal Life: Season 14" starring Daisy, David Archuleta and Lisa?!

Thank you, Reality TV. It's been a long time coming. I am hopeful for the future as I have now seen that it really is possible for the best choice to win and that I don't always have to be disappointed in a reality competition's outcome. It seems that, finally, voters and judges have seen the light and, maybe psychically, have realized whose opinions should've been considered more carefully all along: Mine.

Just a Typical Friday Night

2008-06-03T15:38:00.000-07:00

Apparently, the universe decided I needed to cash in a bunch of my good fortune chips on Friday, May 23rd. Not only did I learn that night that I am going to be an Aunt for the first time, but I also learned that I actually won a contest. A local radio station sends out a newsletter of sorts once a week that usually includes a contest or two. I have entered probably 90% of these contests (usually for concert tickets) over the past 4 years and have never won a thing. I was starting to think I never would but never gave it much thought. But I kept on trying. And whaddaya know but I actually won 2 tickets to see BJ Novak's stand-up comedy show AND attend a meet-and-greet with him afterward. As a HUGE fan of The Office, and as someone easily starstruck, this was incredibly exciting for me. I had one week to come up with something semi-intelligent (or at least not humiliating) to say to him. I finally opted to just play it by ear and hopefully remind myself that he is just a regular guy - no need to be starstruck, right? I like the guy, but he's not one of my heroes or anything. Surely I'd be less tongue-tied and awkward than I am every time I meet David Sedaris (which embarrasses me every time I think of it. We WILL be best friends someday. If I can get past the paralysis I develop each time we meet.).

Anyway, Friday night May 30th finally rolls around. There were 2 opening acts before he came on. The first guy did a hilarious “performance art” piece to the theme of Saved By The Bell and then proceeded to get heckled by the horrible people in the audience. One of the worst was sitting directly behind us. I felt so bad for the comedian. His comedy is the kind that's more bizarre and weird and I think people just didn’t get it. I liked him okay but I felt awful for him, though I’m sure he’s used to it. What is it about people in the audiences at comedy shows? It’s like it’s okay to make an ass out of themselves cuz they think they’re hilarious. But they aren’t. Anyway, that was pretty disappointing. The next guy came out and I’ve actually seen him on Comedy Central or Conan or something, cuz he’s familiar. Dan Mintz is his name, look him up. He gets heckled far less than the first guy and is really funny.

Finally, BJ came out. He’s hysterical! I really didn’t know what to expect, but he put on a really great set! And he even had a bit about how pandas are the cutest animals in the world [Background: the sight of baby pandas makes me cry. Happy cry. Every. Single. Time.] and I couldn’t help but think how funny my friends would all find that, knowing I was in the crowd, probably crying just thinking about it (I didn’t, by the way). And another bit about pregnancy tests sold at the dollar store which was funny cuz my newly-pregnant sister-in-law apparently used this method to discover she was pregnant. BJ had some hecklers, too, but they weren’t making fun of him – they were just trying to star in their own show, I guess. But he handled it so perfectly by making fun of the bad ones and embarrassing the people. And there was one guy who said, early on, “You’re awesome!” so he dubbed him “You’re Awesome Guy” for the rest of the show and called on him to back him up throughout the show. Anyway, he was great and I was really impressed. Oh, and hot. He was really hot.

The show ends and we make our way to the right side of the stage as instructed. I see a girl, Amy, that I’ve met at a few parties our friends Andrew and Michelle have had and it turns out her husband, Brad, is the guy who is to lead us to the meet-and-greet spot, so she got to join him. So it was cool to have a “friend” there, too. There were probably about 10 of us and they led us downstairs to a sort of backstage area. We all just sort of lined up in this hallway and then BJ walked in and was like “Hi! So, uh, who is everybody?” Brad explains what radio stations we’re from and they decide BJ will just stand in a spot and we can go up and have our pictures taken with him and chat on our way out.

(Sidebar: I decided not to take my camera with me in case they checked our bags. Zaki’s new Blackberry has a nice camera in it, so I opted to use that if we were allowed. Last weekend at the Pacific Science Center it took him forever to remember how to use the camera feature. I feared this might happen again. He said he knew how to do it. I didn’t want to nag, so I let it go. But I was worried.)

Skip back to the point where we hear the plan of the meet-and-greet. Z takes out his phone and, lo and behold, has no idea how to use the camera. So the first girl, Amy, gets her pic taken and then we’re up next. Brad says, “You guys want a picture?” and I say (trying not to sound as irritated as I am, particularly since Z was about to give up on the idea before I told him to keep trying) “Well, he can’t figure out the camera on his phone.” To which BJ then replies “That’s the exact same phone I have. Want me to try?” So Z hands him the phone and he promptly figures it out (I figured it out later, too. Insanely easy. Whatever.). So I then move over to stand in position and BJ sort of puts his arm up in the air as if to get in position to put his arm around my shoulder for the pic. I misread this and take it to be him offering a hug, so I take him up on it. Ladies (and gay fellas), can ya blame me? He gives me sort of a half-hug and I try not to be as embarrassed as I kind of am. Z gets in position on the other side of him and Brad goes to take the pic. But he’s not sure how to work the zoom. Of course, Z isn’t either, so BJ helps him out there, too. Then we get our pic taken, tell him we’re big fans, and then move on.

That’s it.

I went to say goodbye to Amy and as I’m doing this Z strikes up a conversation with the 2nd comedian, Dan, that opened for BJ. I then join them and we give him some recommendations of places to see while he’s in town for the next day. He’s really nice. Then everyone has had their pic taken and BJ is walking away and they call Dan over and everyone in BJ’s group looks back at us and we all say goodbye.

So that was that. And to top it all off, as we’re walking back to the car a homeless, drunk man tells Zaki “that’s a great piece of ass you’ve got on that woman.” So I was, of course, flattered. Z didn’t hear what he said and when I told him and he responded “Yup, sure is” I said, “Thanks for defending my honor, Honey.” And he said he’d kick the guy’s ass if I wanted him too, which obviously I didn’t.

Like I said, I was flattered.

That was my Friday night.